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Head & Heart #40: How could it be worse?

August 31, 2019 By Clare Leave a Comment

It’s rarely good news when you hear your child screaming ‘Muuuuum!’ from the toilet! Recently Ella managed to drop her new gloves in the loo! They (obviously) needed a wash afterward and she was pretty upset because she now couldn’t wear them to school. I really didn’t have the energy to deal with her distress during the pre-departure morning chaos, so to pull her out of it I suggested we have some fun thinking of all the ways it could have been worse. Given that this incident involved a toilet it was fairly easy to think of a range of disgusting ideas (which she loved!). She ended up smiling and laughing with me and expressing genuine gratitude that the gloves didn’t get flushed away (or reach one of a number of much more gross fates!).

But the value of asking ‘how could it be worse?’ isn’t just limited to minor daily hiccups or annoyances, it’s also relevant to the traumatic and life-changing. Sheryl Sandberg spoke about this in an interview on the On Being podcast when she described the advice her friend Adam Grant gave her after her husband died unexpectedly.

…Adam looked at me and said, “You should think about how things could be worse.” And I thought to myself, “Dave just died suddenly. How can things be worse?” And he said, “He could’ve had that cardiac arrhythmia driving your children.” I mean, in that instant, to this day, when I say that, I feel better. I’m like, OK my kids are alive. I’m fine. Literally. Because think about the devastation I felt with Dave, and the devastation of losing all three of them in one instant, which happens. And all of a sudden, you’re better.

And you would think that when you’re trying to find a way forward, you want to think about happy thoughts, but actually, what you want to do is find gratitude, gratitude for what’s left. And one way of doing that is think about how things could be worse. And that really did work, because the minute I thought about the fact that I’m lucky to still have my children alive, what I found was gratitude.”

A quote I’m pondering:

Grace can take you places where hustling can’t”

~ Elizabeth Gilbert on the Chase Jarvis Live podcast

We’re moving to Normanville (a little coastal town south of Adelaide) next year – which is partly about getting more grace and less hustle into our lives. Hustling seems like such a default and I’m noticing how, in planning for next year, I need to consciously stop from over-committing myself in order to allow the time and space for grace. Related – Is hustle culture actually hurting us?

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Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal

Head & Heart #39: Muddy water

July 28, 2019 By Clare Leave a Comment

Photo by Greg Nerantzakis on Unsplash

A quote I’m pondering…

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone” ~ Alan Watts.*

Since making running a regular part of my routine I’ve noticed my mental health has been pretty good and I haven’t felt as strong a need for regular meditation in my life. But while the running helps with my mood it doesn’t quite deal with the mental clutter and distraction and reactiveness in the same way that meditation does. This quote has got me thinking about the importance of quiet and stillness, and it also reminded me of something Julia Baird wrote in a New York Times opinion piece about her cancer diagnosis…. ‘stillness and faith can give you extraordinary strength. Commotion drains.’

Our modern lives are full of commotion and chaos and muddy water. Perhaps our way through that to improved wellbeing is not found in personal productivity hacks or new technology or to-do lists or outsourcing, but in more silence and stillness.

* I read the above quote in a recent installment of Ann Friedman’s weekly newsletter which I’d highly recommend. We’re apparently at ‘peak newsletter’ so you probably don’t need anything more to read, but in case you do, I also enjoy receiving updates in my inbox from Emi Kolawole, Austin Kleon, Adam Grant and Jean Hannah Edelstein.

Adding value to my life right now…

Reframing ‘I have to’ into ‘I get to’. A little tip I took away from James Clear’s interview on the 10% Happier podcast – next time you find yourself saying (or thinking) that you have to do something, try reframing it and tell yourself that you get to do it instead. ‘I have to pick up E from school’ -> ‘I get to pick up E from school’, ‘I have to deliver 3 workshops this week’ -> ‘I get to deliver 3 workshops this week’. It’s a great way to quickly shift yourself into a place of gratitude rather than obligation.

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Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: books, meditation, podcasts

Head & Heart #38: Not ready

July 13, 2019 By Clare Leave a Comment

I’ve been doing a bit of facilitation and training over the last few months and often found myself feeling not as prepared as I would have liked (a combination of life busy-ness, miscalculation on my part about how long the preparation would take, plus a little procrastination). It is uncomfortable to do something before you’re ‘ready’, so I’ve been thinking a lot about something Lorne Michaels (Saturday Night Live creator and prpodcastoducer) said in an interview on Alec Baldwin’s Here’s The Thing :

We don’t go on because we’re ready. We go on because it’s 11.30.

Not being ‘ready’ is not a barrier to putting work into the world, and good work at that. In fact, delaying an action until one feels ‘ready’ is a kind of inbuilt defense mechanism to avoid any failure or risk of criticism and negative reaction from others. As Tim Herrera wrote this week in his New York Times Better Living column, ‘it’s never going to be perfect, so just get it done’.

So, with that in mind, I’m trying hard to post this update before I’m ready. Before it completely captures all of the things that I want to share. Before I know exactly what to say. Before I’ve done the deep recollection and reflection on all the things that I’ve done and thought and am grateful for and that I’ve read and listened to over the last 3 months since I last posted.

Three things that are bringing joy or adding value to my life right now…

Not dying my hair
I dyed my hair for the last time in February. Feeling inspired by grombre (discovered via the lovely Jen Frahm who’s rocking her short silver style) I took the opportunity to get a new cut and am letting the old colour grow out and fade away. I have quite substantial (but still patchy) grey coverage and I’m enjoying it way more than I thought I would. I feel more ‘me’. The money, time and hassle saved are also a big bonus.

Hiring a running coach
About a year ago I decided I would run the 10k at the Gold Coast Marathon (committing my future self to ‘go on at 11.30′ whether I was ready or not!). I’d done ok with the C25K program but by late April I knew I’d need some extra help to make it to 10. I am a total obliger and so accountability is really important for me in working to achieve a goal. I’ve never met my coach Kate, but her program, support, encouragement and accountability got me there! My goal was to run the whole way – and I did it! And I loved it too!

Super stoked to have run 10k at the Gold Coast Marathon (and the 2k junior dash with E)!

As someone who likes immediate gratification and success (who doesn’t?) sometimes I can get disheartened and lack persistence when the progress is slow and the work is hard. But doing this running training has taught me so much about trusting a process and incremental improvement and just doing the work. The other huge advantage of having a running coach is the elimination of the cognitive work involved in figuring out and planning a training program. As a working mum I feel like my brain is constantly full (what are we having for dinner? what forms need to go back to school? have I paid the car rego? whose clothes/shoes are too small? have I actually delivered on the work that I committed to do? etc etc). I’ve realised that my brain space is actually a really precious resource worth managing intentionally. So outsourcing this running-related research, planning and decision-making to someone more qualified and experienced seems like a good move – now I don’t even think about ‘how far/long should I run today?’, I just wake up and do whatever the plan says I need to do!

Related…. the Gold Coast Marathon was such a great, well organised event we’re planning on going back next year. And I’m so grateful for all of the volunteers and supporters who made the event run so smoothly and whose cheers and encouragement and high-fives made a massive difference! If you ever find yourself nearby to a fun run/triathlon get along (even just for a few minutes) and clap/cheer – it really does help!

Grocery delivery
Food planning, shopping and preparation is definitely not a source of joy in my life, but for the last few months it’s been made much easier by embracing online ordering and delivery. At first I saw it as extra expenditure I didn’t need (and I kept putting off the planning bit so I didn’t ever feel ‘ready’ to place the order), but now when I think of it as paying someone to go to the supermarket, find the groceries, put them in a trolley, go through the checkout, drive them to my house, and unpack them on my kitchen bench, that definitely feels like money worth spent. This is consistent with research that has found that spending money to buy time increases happiness more than spending it on stuff. I’m pleased that Coles online have a bag free option too now so I’m not dealing with storing/recycling mounds of plastic bags!

Fat pocky inspired by Adam Liaw

On a food-related note, I’ve been trying some of the recipes from The Fast 800 Recipe Book (the ratatouille and halloumi bake is a favourite so far). And this smoky chickpea and red lentil soup was also delicious (and conveniently able to be created from stuff I had in my pantry when we returned home from holidays, hadn’t done a grocery order and I felt crappy with a head cold).

Finally, I made these fat pocky for E to take to celebrate her birthday with her class (unfortunately she was sick, so we’ll be making them again next term for a belated celebration). Adam Liaw is a genius!

And the rest…

E turned 6 last week and got a few really great gifts – we’re all loving playing a new card game, Sleeping Queens, she’s super excited to take on some of the art projects in this book, and is enjoying reading Stuck in the Stone Age. If you have little people (age around 6-9) in your life, these might be some good gift suggestions. And how cool is this Pokemon inspired portrait that Ella’s uncle Noo (Neale) & the enormously talented Cody created?!

Puppy Shiva

We farewelled our beloved family dog Shiva in early May. Shiva was a rescue kelpie-x who came into our lives (via ACT Rescue & Foster) over 9 years ago. She certainly made our lives more interesting and she taught us so much. In the last few months before she died she was also a brilliant running partner, waking me up for and accompanying me on pre-dawn runs. Throughout Shiva’s life she had such great care from Matt and the team at Small Friends Veterinary Hospital (and we received an especially lovely condolence card and print of Shiva’s paw afterwards). Those that met Shiva know that she was a huge softy but was quite scared of strangers. But she has always loved Matt and was never fussed about going to the vet. If you are ever looking for a Canberra-based vet, Small Friends is really great. Although it wasn’t easy we were also really honest with E about what was happening and gave her the opportunity to have plenty of farewell pats. She asked a few questions (kids are so literal and don’t care for adult euphemisms around death) and was pretty upset, but accepted it more easily than I expected. Kids are so often more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for.

Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: food, recipes, running

Head & Heart #37: Don’t pee on the gift

April 13, 2019 By Clare Leave a Comment

One of my favourite pieces of advice from Jancee Dunn’s How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids is “don’t pee on the gift”. It means don’t tell your spouse you’re OK with something he or she wants to do (a weekend getaway, an hours-long bike ride, an afternoon nap) and then fume about it after the fact.

Our dog has just had surgery and has been pretty sick with an infection. However, the (very shiny) silver lining is that I get a weekend at home to look after her, while J takes the kids on our planned family trip to visit his parents. This is possibly one of the greatest gifts J has ever given me and just the anticipation of a forthcoming weekend alone brings me so much joy. I am very conscious that J’s weekend (involving 7 hours of driving with a 5 and almost 2-year-old) might not be quite so joyful, but I’ve told him (repeatedly) that he can’t pee on the gift!

Other things that have brought value/joy to my life lately….

Chat 10 Looks 3

I was in a bit of a blergh mood during a morning commute to work this week. Chat 10 always makes me smile and the latest episode was no exception.

This Jamie Oliver salsa recipe

It was J’s birthday last week and I made these chicken fajitas for his birthday dinner. The salsa is especially delicious (note: I used some chipotle sauce as a substitute for the dried smoked chipotle) and it made me appreciate the value of a great sauce/dressing/condiment to transform an ordinary meal into something super tasty. On a related note, I’ve just started having Dijon mustard on my toasted sandwiches and have added this to the long list of things I wonder why I didn’t discover sooner!

iOS Shortcuts

I’ve recently started experimenting with the Shortcuts app on my iPhone after listening to this episode of the Day One podcast (Day One is my journaling app of choice) and subsequently a few episodes of Automators. Much of the technical detail goes over my head but it’s still been fun to engage my brain in a new and geeky way and come up with interesting ways to quickly/efficiently handle some of the things I do with my phone – like journal entries, starting new timers in Toggl (for time tracking), and one I set up recently where Siri will tell me what time I’m expected to arrive home.

The ‘Week in Review’

I wrote about this in my what worked in 2018 post, and last week my dear friend Emily and I sent our 52nd weekly reflective update. This practice continues to be so important to me and I’m so pleased/proud that we’ve been able to keep it up for a year (I doubt I would have been able to without the accountability to Em). Last time I posted about the WIR, lots of people asked for the questions and I do intend to do a separate post at some stage. But in the meantime, these are the questions we’re currently using (they’ve iterated a little over time). Credit and much thanks is owed to Amanda for introducing me to her similar practice and sharing her questions.

Bluey

As most Australian parents of preschoolers would know, new episodes of Bluey are out. J and I think Bandit and Chilli (Bluey’s dad and mum) are pretty great parenting role models!

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Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: Chat 10 Looks 3, Jamie Oliver, podcasts, recipe, reflection, Shortcuts, stickywisdom

Head & Heart #36

March 30, 2019 By Clare 1 Comment

These Head & Heart posts, like many things, get harder to write the longer I put off writing them. I’ve found that there is a small window between feeling like I have enough to say and having too much – when I struggle to know where to start and to end, what to leave out and what to include. But inspired by the ‘good list’ episodes on Tsh Oxenrider’s The Simple Show, I’ve decided to simply share 3–5 things that are adding value to my life right now.

Getting up early to exercise and meditate

For the past six weeks or so I’ve been getting up around 5.15am and going for a 1/2 hour walk or jog with the dog, followed (on most mornings) by a quick 3-minute meditation. Exercising and meditating have such a significant impact on my mental wellbeing and I’m definitely feeling happier, calmer and more positive. And I’ve been surprised how easily I’ve adjusted to the pre-dawn start – I suspect it would be even easier if I could consistently achieve an earlier bedtime (that’s another challenge!). I’ve been plodding my way through the C25K program again. I want to run a 10k this year and a 5k still feels a long way off – let alone 10! But I’m trusting the process and the program. As a facilitator and trainer (that occasionally has a tendency to want to have a lot of say over outcome!) this feels important to practice. I’ve also been using this Intervals app which is great!

Jar salads for lunch have been a complete game changer!

Jar salads

Jar salads have been a game-changer. This roasted spiced chickpea & sweet potato salad with orange vinaigrette from Jar Salads: 52 happy, healthy lunches by Alexander Hart is our favourite. We got some glass jars from Target and I’ll make up 5 or 6 at a time.

Using Siri + Reminders to manage our grocery list

I got an Apple Watch for Christmas and one of my favourite and most used features is being able to ask Siri to add an item to our (shared) grocery list (in Reminders) at any time, wherever I am. I’ve also changed my Siri to the Australian male voice after reading this post (see tip #34).

Derek Sivers’ bike-riding story

As we, like many families, try to navigate the demands of kid drop-offs and getting to work, I’ve often found myself feeling rushed and rushing the kids (which never ends well!). So I’ve been thinking about this story from Derek Sivers a lot lately.

New podcast discoveries

After a bit of a run of audiobooks earlier in the year, I’m back in a podcast phase. I binged the entire series of The Drop Out, and two other recent discoveries that are on heavy rotation are David Tennant does a podcast with…, and Feel Better, Live More.

If you’d like to receive Head & Heart posts via email, you can sign up here. 

Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: Apple Watch, Derek Sivers, exercise, podcasts, Siri, wellbeing

Head & Heart #35

August 7, 2018 By Clare Leave a Comment

Often I catch myself in ‘when/then’ self-talk, particularly in relation to parenting  – ‘when my kids sleep through the night then I’ll be able to get up early and go running’, ‘when we don’t have to pay for daycare anymore we’ll be able to consider upgrading the house/take a holiday’, ‘when the kids are older I’ll have more flexibility to travel with my work’, ‘when I don’t have to spend my evenings cleaning up vomit I’ll be able to write more blog posts’ (that was last night)…. It’s like life with little children, although very much planned and wanted, is some kind of temporary detour from the life I could or should be living. Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself that this isn’t a detour, this is my life, and to lean into the experience rather than looking for what might be on the other side. So when I read this piece from Omid Safi this week his wise words resonated strongly – “Your life will not start down the road. This is life. Be here now. Have your heart where your feet are.” I love this so much and have added it to my collection of #stickywisdom (I’m trying to figure out the best way to collate and share my #stickywisdom, so I’m experimenting with a new dedicated Instagram account – sticky.wisdom).


E has decided she wants to be a geologist when she grows up (I think she’s keen on the idea of finding a heap of gold!). Despite doing at least a semester of university-level geology, I can’t remember even the basic info about the different rock types so we found some YouTube videos. Thank goodness for YouTube! But it was a moment when I kind of missed having a World Book encyclopedia on the shelf.

Apparently, the best way to learn anything is to teach it to a child, so instead of completely outsourcing responsibility for satisfying my children’s curiosity to YouTube, I’m going to view fielding questions as a highly effective way to enhance my own understanding of a subject. And it’s also got me thinking about how I can integrate the Feynman technique into the workshops I facilitate.

Mars is visible at the moment (as is Saturn). I only learned this from overhearing an episode of the Imagine This podcast that E was listening to. I’m rarely outside in the evening (especially in winter), but we’ve downloaded the super cool Night Sky app on our phones and have enjoyed rugging up and doing some planet spotting. If you’re in Canberra and have little kids you may be keen to check out this star gazing playgroup session that our babysitter Sami is running at the end of the month.


Last weekend we had an unexpected visitor – ‘Patch’ the bear from E’s pre-school. Basically the kids take turns taking Patch home for the weekend, and you’re meant to involve Patch in your weekend activities, and add some photos/text to a journal for your child to share with the class on Monday morning. Of course this means that someone has to remember to pack Patch for any weekend outing, and then photograph Patch, and print the photos and arrange them with text descriptions in the journal.

Our weekend visitor – Patch

Whenever we have one of these visitors I’m reminded of Annabel Crabb’s ‘The Wife Drought’ where she shares a similar story about ‘Chiquita the kangaroo’ to illustrate the type of work involved in managing a home/family – work that’s not paid (and often barely recognised) but that you feel emotionally obligated to fulfil (and super guilty if you stuff up). And it’s work that’s most often undertaken by ‘wives’.

 

Given my life stage it’s hardly surprising that my virtual feeds and in-person conversations are full of discussions and commentary that include many stories like those about ‘Patch/Chiquita’ including this piece – I decided to drop my family’s mental load for a week.

The ‘list’ also came up in this episode of Dear Sugars on emotional labour which was quite good. But, I feel like in this episode, and in many articles, there is a conflation and confusion of the terms emotional labour, invisible work, domestic labour, mental load etc. I wasn’t really aware of this until I read Please Stop Calling Everything That Frustrates You Emotional Labor. This episode of WorkLife on faking your emotions at work also helps to explain what emotional labor looks like in a work setting. Regardless, I do want an ‘I am the List’ t-shirt.


I’ve been listening to a lot of the 5 Things podcast. The premise is quite simple but a unique take on the traditional interview – guests bring in 5 physical things that they treasure or that are resonant in some way, and share the story of their life through these objects. The guests don’t appear to be particularly famous (Manoush Zomorodi was the only name in the guest list I recognised), but it’s so fascinating to hear about different stories/lives and I love how physical objects can be used to elicit such deep, meaningful, personal conversation and connection. Of course, it’s got me thinking about what my five things would be too.


A new recipe that’s getting a lot of use in our house – ‘boost your basic’ double choc chip cookies from One Handed Cooks. Yes, they are choc-chip cookies so they’re not really a healthy snack, but I prefer these to the usual ones that are heavy on the butter and sugar. I’ve probably already shared it before but their carrot cookies (with no refined sugar, eggs, nuts or dairy) are a lunch-box staple at our place.

Head & Heart is an occasional update about the things that have engaged my head or heart recently – things I’ve been pondering, articles I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to etc. If you’d like to receive the updates via email, you can sign up here. 

Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: emotionallabour, mentalload, podcast, recipe

Head & Heart #34

July 20, 2018 By Clare Leave a Comment

My big baby turned 5 a couple of weeks ago! Ella’s birthday is always a time of much reflection and this year I’ve found myself considering how becoming a mum, and Ella’s mum specifically, has changed the trajectory of my life. Her arrival felt like an asteroid had rammed into me and thrown me from my orbit leaving me lost and spinning out of control. But now, as we traverse further into this new identity and relationship I feel more confident that this path I’m now on is providing me with the lessons and opportunities I’m meant to have. In the lead up to her birthday I also found myself filled with enormous gratitude for all the wonderful people that have come into my life that I probably wouldn’t have connected with otherwise – my mother’s group, working at YWCA Canberra, the She Leads students and facilitators, Lead Mama Lead, my new colleagues at the APSC…


With each birthday it’s interesting to notice how parenting challenges shift from the basic needs around sleeping, eating etc, to deeper ones around raising a decent human being. This post on fitting in vs belonging was one worth reading and will be something I try to remember as Ella gets older and continues to navigate friendships and social structures.


I love love love this idea! If you’re expecting a baby, or know someone who is, why not skip the baby shower and throw a post-partum party instead?


Recent favourite podcast discoveries that I’d recommend include Self-Helpless (3 comedians discuss various self-help topics/books) and Briget Shulte’s Better Life Lab (on the art and science of living a full life). I’m also excited to see that Jamila Rizvi’s new podcast, Future Women, is launching next week. I also really enjoyed this episode of Hidden Brain – The Edge Effect – which includes some fantastic stories about diversity and creativity.


Some people in my network who are doing great things and that I think you should know about….

  • My friend Zoya Patel‘s debut book, No Country Woman, is coming out next month! I’m so excited to read this and share it. Zoya is one of the smartest, most insightful people I know and her writing about race, feminism and identity always makes me stop and think. She’s doing a number of events over the coming months – including a launch in Canberra on 19 August, and the Melbourne Writers Festival!
  • Julie Boulton has an excellent weekly newsletter, The Greening Of, about her journey towards more sustainable living. I always learn heaps and I love her honest, engaging, humourous writing style.
  • Lead Mama Lead founder, Summer Edwards, is running the next intake of the Overcoming Overwhelm course in September. This is an online course for mamas who are struggling with and/or feel like they’d like to get better at dealing with feelings of overwhelm, guilt and exhaustion in their life. It’s a supportive, gentle program (designed to fit in around the lives of busy women). I’m about 2/3 through the pilot program and it’s definitely led to some increased self-awareness around the priorities and values in my life and the habits and practices that help and hinder my wellbeing. (You can also get 25% off if you sign up before 1 August).
  • A couple of months ago, my friend and former colleague Stefan Kraus from RGB Collective took some wonderful portraits of us (and did incredibly well to capture the easily-distracted and not-always-compliant kids). Getting some more family photos on the wall was one of the things I really wanted to do this year, now I just have to get them printed and framed…. (I’m also thinking about getting one turned into a custom illustrated portrait from Able & Game)

My feet (and pregnant belly) – 3 July 2013
Ella’s feet – 15 July 2018

On the topic of photos, Ella uses an old iPhone to listen to podcasts and audiobooks. She’s recently discovered the camera function and has taken (quite enthusiastically) to documenting her life and creating movies! It’s been fun to look through the pictures and videos and get a glimpse of what the world looks like from her perspective. There are lots of selfies and posed pictures of toys and hundreds of walls and windows and floors and ceilings (some quite artistic, some not so much).

I particularly love this one – mainly because exactly 5 years and 12 days earlier I’d taken a very similar shot (in almost the identical spot) as I paced my lounge room in early labour about 10 hours before we met Ella.


The other big news to share since my last H&H update is that I’ve returned to (paid) work following my maternity break. I’m pleased to be facilitating some of the core skills and graduate development training programs at the Australian Public Service Commission, and I’m also doing some freelance facilitation, coaching and training. Helping individuals and groups to learn and change and to see themselves and the world a little differently has been a pretty consistent thread through my work for the past 8 or so years, but facilitation has been a somewhat peripheral part of the various jobs I’ve had. I feel so excited to be diving deeper into this work and to commit to building my own skills, knowledge, experience and practice – it feels like the work I’m meant to be doing. I have some availability for work for the remainder of the year, so if you need some support with running meetings, workshops or training, please get in touch. All the details are over on the Sticky Note Consulting site.


Finally, I’m going to trial sending out Head & Heart updates as a newsletter which may make them easier to follow (for the handful of dear friends that actually read them)! If you’d like to sign up, you can do so here. I’ll keep posting them to the blog too!

Filed Under: Head and Heart, Journal Tagged With: birthday, facilitation, motherhood, parenting, photos, podcasts, sticky note consulting, work

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