Head and Heart

Head & Heart – 10 July 2016

July 11, 2016 By Clare 2 Comments

Once again I’ve found myself several months behind on my regular Head & Heart posts so I’ve decided to try something different. While I enjoy the practice of doing some reflection and documenting what I’ve been doing and thinking, I’m not sure the monthly timeframe is working for me. I feel like there is so much swirling around in my head that it’s hard to remember a month’s worth of content for each post and I feel some pressure (self-imposed) to make the post interesting, comprehensive and mostly coherent. It feels a bit counter intuitive that if I’m struggling to fulfil a commitment to post monthly then weekly might be easier, but I’m going to give it a go. I’ll also give myself permission to make these posts scrappier and less ‘complete’. The goal is here is building a regular practice rather than perfecting a writing craft.

Habit tracking 4/7 – 10/7 (Not a great week – only 7/21 habits completed)

So, in no particular order, here are some of the things I’ve been doing, reading, listening to and thinking about this week…

My daughter Ella turned 3 on Monday. Birthdays are a significant reflection point, and I’ve found her birthdays to be quite emotional as I reflect on how becoming a mum has changed my life and how I see myself and the world.
Not enough exercise, meditation or sleep had me in a funk on Wednesday morning. One of those (thankfully rare) mornings where I’m feeling sad and unable to get out of bed. Staying in bed never helps though. Once I did eventually get up I spent some time clearing my head by mind-mapping (using MindNode – a recent purchase that I’m enjoying using) how I was feeling and why, the things that I know impact my mental health, the barriers to me doing the things that I know make me healthier, and ways to overcome those barriers. Getting it out of your head makes it seem less significant and more able to be actioned. I felt much better afterwards.
Jason and I went on a rare date to see the documentary Minimalism. It was good, but as I’ve been thinking and reading about minimalism for the past year or so, there wasn’t anything particularly new. But one of the most powerful things in it was a statement from author Patrick Rhode which was something like ‘the easiest way to deal with the overwhelm is just simply to turn it off’. This really struck me, particularly because I have been feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed lately. It made me think of a sink that’s full of water and about to overflow. Instead of trying to find ways to manage the water in the sink and keep it from overflowing, perhaps it’s easier (essential?) to first turn off the tap.
I finished reading The Coaching Habit. If you’re new to coaching or you’re a manager wanting to have better quality interactions it’s a good read.
Emi Kolawole’s post on learning how not to be angry was good and her thoughts and advice about how to look after one’s mental health resonated with me.
I did session 1 of the C25K program (using the Run5K app). Feeling excited to get back into running which I know is good for my mental and physical health.
I listened to Mia Freedman’s conversation with Natasha Stott Despoja on the No Filter podcast. Natasha made an interesting comment about multi-faceted women (specifically how difficult she thought the media/public/established political players found it to respond to a multi-faceted woman – someone who could be on the cover of a magazine AND have a serious policy debate on Lateline).
I’ll also include in these posts a screenshot from Way of Life of how I’ve gone with my 3 priority habits (bed before 10.30pm, meditate, 30 active minutes). This week wasn’t great. Only 1/3 completed. I reckon that it’s about 2/3+ that I need to be hitting to be functioning well and maintaining good energy and mental resilience.

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Head & Heart – February – April 2016

May 6, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

Writing these posts is something that I’ve thought about often, but haven’t prioritised time to do over the last 3 months, so I’m playing catch-up with this Head & Heart post…

What I’ve been doing

Facilitating a workshop at the For Purpose Summer School on producing engaging events.
Starting, and then not getting very far with, the 8 week I Quit Sugar program. One of my main motivations for signing up was to help with meal planning and to add some more variety to the meals I eat, so instead of looking at it as a failure, I’ll focus on the success in trying some new dishes (including the Paleo Veggie Bread which is now a regular staple in our house).
Walking the 25km event in the CBR 100.
View from the CBR100 trail!

This was tough, but I was really pleased to have done it. The walk itself and the longer walks I did in the months prior to prepare have really reignited my love of bushwalking and made me realise how important walking in nature is for my mental health.
I headed up to Sydney to go to All About Women which was worthwhile. I went to the panel session on What Needs To Change and Anne-Marie Slaughter’s talk. Next year I’ll try to attend more sessions and select sessions featuring women/topics that I haven’t heard before or that I wouldn’t normally select.
Jason and I had a belated 5-year anniversary getaway to Paperbark Camp at Jervis Bay – amazing!
My brother Neale and I have received a small grant from Screen ACT to develop a treatment for a feature film, ‘Fyshwick’, which tells the story of how Canberra became the porn capital of the country in the late 80s/early 90s and some of the characters behind the industry. So over the last few months I’ve been learning lots about the history of Australian porn and film censorship and the people involved in the Canberra porn industry circa 1985-1995!
Trying to figure out Snapchat – I’m clareaconroy if you want to connect!

I’m grateful for

I try to practice gratitude on a daily basis, so often these things feel insignificant when I try to aggregate my gratitude for the month, but some of the things I’ve been grateful for are:

Having two new staff join the YWCA Canberra She Leads team. I like working with and managing a team and there’s no way that I would have been able to deliver on the program initiatives by myself, so I’m grateful for the extra support and excited about what we have and can continue to achieve together.
My brother Neale coming to stay for 2 weeks while Jason was overseas to help with kid-wrangling! Doorstep Dinners were also a life-saver during this time!
An April that was full of beautiful warm sunny days (although a couple of days of rain would have been nice)

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Head & Heart – January 2016

February 29, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

Figure that I better this post up given that it’s basically an entire month late! I wrote it a couple of weeks ago but it’s just been sitting in my drafts. Not sure why I’ve been putting off pressing ‘publish’ on this one….

I’m writing this from bed, home from work, sick again. I feel like we’ve been hit by minor illnesses more than usual over the last couple of months (and I suspect that’s just comes with having a 2 year old). My default reaction is to feel miserable, frustrated at my body, stressed about all the things that I’m not doing while sick, and pissed off (‘why is this happening to me again?’). However, I’ve just finished listening to Buddhism for Parents on the Go (audiobook), so this time I’m trying to be kinder to myself and more accepting and to remember that illness and injury is going happen. While my body is feeling pain and fatigue, it’s my mind that adds the suffering. I’m still feeling pretty crappy and miserable, but it’s certainly helping me to feel less burdened by the illness.

Anyway, on to my Head & Heart post for January….

What I’ve been doing

Getting back into daily journalling /keeping a log book using the DayOne app
Building and tracking daily habits to improve my wellbeing using the Way of Life app (thanks to Kevin Rose’s recommendation on a recent episode of the Tim Ferriss podcast)
Released a new Women Talk Work interview with digital entrepreneur and wonderful human Mik Jade
Chatted about Women Talk Work with Lee Constable on her 2XXFM show/Soapbox podcast
Having a new year clean out/de-clutter and finally Konmari-ing our clothes
Supporting E to adjust to a new daycare centre (we tried one, and we’ve changed to another). She seems to be doing well and I suspect that it’s more stressful for me than for her!

I’m grateful for

A few random things I’ve found myself feeling grateful for this month:

Public libraries
Home grown spinach, tomatoes and herbs
Air conditioning
Long walks in my beautiful city

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Head & Heart – December 2015

January 5, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

I can’t quite believe it’s time for another post. Where did December go?

What I’ve been doing

Two new Women Talk Work podcast episodes recorded. One edited and released (with digital marketer and self-described super-nerd, Sarah Moran), and another (with startup entrepreneur Mik Jade) coming soon.
Walking. With the CBR100 Challenge just over 2 months away I’ve been trying to increase the frequency and duration of my walks. I also did my first parkrun.
Ending the year with a family trip to the beach!
Developing content for and facilitating two She Leads Diploma sessions. Learning lots, but exhausting at the same time!
I’ve set up a Now page (inspired by Derek Sivers’ NowNowNow project).
Doing an annual purge of iPhone apps and email subscriptions to try to limit the distraction and information clutter.
Travelling to Adelaide for Christmas with my family.

I’m grateful for

Supportive colleagues and ‘work friends’.
Family who delight in looking after (and tiring-out) E so that I can do things like take afternoon naps!

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Head & Heart – November 2015

December 13, 2015 By Clare Leave a Comment

My reflective wrap-up for the month of November….

What I’ve been doing

Recording, editing and posting a couple more interviews for the Women Talk Work podcast, including my chats with fashion entrepreneur Viv Mitchell, professional golfer Joanne Mills and executive coach Jacqueline Jago.
Working with my little bro Neale on an application for funding from the ACT Screen Arts Fund to develop a feature film story.
Many of my hours this month were consumed making a photobook of Ella’s first 2 years. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for ages. Although the software was relatively easy to use, it was a painful process to select and arrange the photos. Let’s hope that they were worth the effort!
Quarter 1 BAS was due this month, so I caught up on lots of scanning and filing and bookkeeping. Boring. But necessary. And better to just do it than have it hanging over my head.

I’m grateful for

This month we travelled to Bathurst to have an early Christmas celebration with Jason’s family. Being the only grandchild, Ella received lots of gifts and attention and I’m so grateful that she has such a loving extended family.
I’ve had a couple of blurgh periods this month where I’ve felt stretched and over-committed and so so tired. Often when I’m in these little funks, I find myself feeling grateful for the most basic things – supermarkets where you can buy all the food you need, hot water that just comes out of the tap when you turn it, a basic, but comfortable house that is our own space etc.

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Head & Heart – October 2015

November 12, 2015 By Clare Leave a Comment

October already feels like a long time ago, so I’ll do my best to capture and reflect on the last month. Despite the usual delays in getting the posts up, I like the impact this monthly practice is having. I like that it forces me to take stock, to reflect and to document what I’ve been doing, thinking and feeling. The deliberate act of paying attention gives me insights into what fuels me and what drains me, and allows me to relatively quickly course-correct where needed.

What I’ve been doing

The most significant achievement (and the one that has taken up much of my time in October) is (finally) recording, editing and publishing the first episodes of the Women Talk Work podcast.
I went to my first No Lights No Lycra (thanks to my friend Paulina).
Developing new course content for YWCA Canberra’s She Leads Diploma.
Writing emails to (future) Ella. I’ve been wanting to start a regular practice of writing letters to Ella (to be given to her at some point in the future) but never got around to it. I figured that a significant barrier was having to handwrite the letters, so instead I’ve set up a Gmail address for her and am sending her regular messages. The email format means that it’s quicker and easier to send short messages and there is no clutter!
I’ve started #another100happydays – a daily photo project capturing something or someone that made me happy. I enjoyed doing #100happydays so much earlier in the year, not just for the record it produced but also as a kind of daily gratitude and mindfulness practice.

I’m grateful for

Hayfever medication, especially because it’s the first time in 3 years I’m not pregnant or feeding and can actually take it!
Friends. This month I had a couple of great dinners with good girlfriends and some great phone chats with my dear friend Emily in Hobart. I love spending time with people that not only make me feel loved and valued but who help me to get greater clarity and insight about myself and the challenges/opportunities in my life.
I think I’ve posted this in a previous month, but being able to see the stars is often something I feel grateful for on my evening walks.
My job. On the morning of the latest She Leads Diploma class I woke up so grateful and kind of in (good) disbelief that I get to hang out with a group of awesome, smart, engaged women twice a month to talk leadership and to support them in their personal and professional development.

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Head & Heart – September 2015

October 2, 2015 By Clare Leave a Comment

Only 2 days after the end of the month (a record!), here’s my sixth Head & Heart post – “a monthly capture of my feelings and doings, in the raw.”

What I’ve been doing

After my blergh August, I’ve got on back track with a few things that make me healthier and happier – meditating (on my bus commute using the Calm app), tracking my spending using YNAB, walking more regularly (and I’ve started tracking my steps using the Fitbit app). I’ve also been blending fresh juices/smoothies and feel like they’re (positively) impacting on my energy levels.
September also involved quite a bit of work preparing for the new She Leads Diploma intake. I am really committed to continuing to improve the course to make it one of the most innovative leadership development programs for women in Canberra. Like conference organising, I feel that designing training is something that aligns with my strengths, providing an opportunity for creativity within a structured program.

I’m grateful for

Sunshine. I’ve been noticing and appreciating feeling the sun on my skin as I exercise.
FaceTime. We don’t have any family in Canberra so FaceTime is such an important way for E to get to know and maintain connection with her family.
My family’s good health. We were all well this month (apart from a touch of hayfever) and what a difference it made to how productive I felt and my mental wellbeing.

I’ve been thinking about

Tooting my friends’ horns. In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg shares a story of a workplace/team where instead of asking the women to talk about themselves, she asked them to tell one another’s stories, which made the women more comfortable and also helps to avoid that perception that women who talk up their own accomplishments are less likeable. This month I was listening to an episode of Chat 10 Looks 3 where Leigh Sales mentioned that when Annabel Crabb’s book The Wife Drought came out she purchased 1000 copies and sent them (with a personalised note) to leaders all around the country. These two stories got me thinking about how valuable it is for women to call out and promote the great things that other women in our networks are doing and has motivated me to start doing this more regularly for my friends and colleagues.
How we talk about/the assumptions we make about the division of household/parenting responsibilities. An except from Anne-Marie Slaughter’s new book, Unfinished Business, was published on Time – ‘Women are Sexist Too’ – and it, along with Jess Irvine’s opinion piece on parenting and inequality, has got me thinking about the default language I use in discussions about division of household/parenting responsibilities. No longer will I talk about male partners ‘helping’ around the house or with kids, and I’ll fight any tendency I have to leave ‘instructions’ for Jason next time I’m away!

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