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Head & Heart – 17 July 2016

July 18, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

Sticking to my commitment of posting a quick weekly summary of what I’ve been doing/reading/thinking about…

I started reading How To Talk To Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. I’m not going to read this in one sitting, rather just read a few of the tips per week and try to find opportunities to practice them. This week I tried (when I remembered) to practice ‘Sticky Eyes’.
Prompted by Leigh Sales’ recommendation on Chat 10 Looks 3, I also started reading Man’s Search For Meaning. I suspect this will be a very thought-provoking read that I’ll need some time and space to reflect on.
Also inspired by another part of the discussion on Chat 10 Looks 3, I’ve been thinking about ego depletion (the idea that you have a limited amount of mental resources that can be used up). Of the three regular habits that I track and know are important for my physical and mental well being (meditation, sleep and active minutes) I feel that sleep is the most essential. When I’m fatigued I definitely suffer ‘ego depletion’ and make poor choices – particularly around the food that I eat. When I do feel rested I am more positive and more likely to make good choices and make the time to engage in the other key habits (meditation and exercise).

On the topic of habits, I did slightly better this week with 11/27 habits achieved. Going to make bed before 10.30 the focus for next week which is going to be tricky. I’m starting full-time work and will be working 8-10 hours a week flexibly in the evenings. With a kid that usually doesn’t sleep before 8.00pm, I suspect that some late nights might be required, but I’m conscious that comes with a trade off in terms of mental wellbeing and focus.
I listened to Sarah Ferguson on No Filter where she discussed her book, The Killing Season Uncut. I loved the book and it prompted many reflections and insights about leadership, communication and human behaviours (which I’ll capture in a blog post one day!).
I put in place some improved organisation (particularly around my work schedule). I’ve been trialling the Self Journal approach. I’m not convinced that the entire thing is for me, but scheduling out your day in advance (with no blank spots) does definitely help with productivity as it eliminated the ‘what should I do know?’ decision fatigue and means that the priority activities are a focus. I also tidied my work desk and got to ‘inbox zero’ which have made me feel (possibly only temporarily) more in control and organised.
A bitterly cold windy week (with snow on Wednesday) ended up with a lovely sunny weekend. Having the weather extremes back to back did make me notice how much my mental health and weather/sunshine are connected.

Head & Heart – February – April 2016

May 6, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

Writing these posts is something that I’ve thought about often, but haven’t prioritised time to do over the last 3 months, so I’m playing catch-up with this Head & Heart post…

What I’ve been doing

Facilitating a workshop at the For Purpose Summer School on producing engaging events.
Starting, and then not getting very far with, the 8 week I Quit Sugar program. One of my main motivations for signing up was to help with meal planning and to add some more variety to the meals I eat, so instead of looking at it as a failure, I’ll focus on the success in trying some new dishes (including the Paleo Veggie Bread which is now a regular staple in our house).
Walking the 25km event in the CBR 100.
View from the CBR100 trail!

This was tough, but I was really pleased to have done it. The walk itself and the longer walks I did in the months prior to prepare have really reignited my love of bushwalking and made me realise how important walking in nature is for my mental health.
I headed up to Sydney to go to All About Women which was worthwhile. I went to the panel session on What Needs To Change and Anne-Marie Slaughter’s talk. Next year I’ll try to attend more sessions and select sessions featuring women/topics that I haven’t heard before or that I wouldn’t normally select.
Jason and I had a belated 5-year anniversary getaway to Paperbark Camp at Jervis Bay – amazing!
My brother Neale and I have received a small grant from Screen ACT to develop a treatment for a feature film, ‘Fyshwick’, which tells the story of how Canberra became the porn capital of the country in the late 80s/early 90s and some of the characters behind the industry. So over the last few months I’ve been learning lots about the history of Australian porn and film censorship and the people involved in the Canberra porn industry circa 1985-1995!
Trying to figure out Snapchat – I’m clareaconroy if you want to connect!

I’m grateful for

I try to practice gratitude on a daily basis, so often these things feel insignificant when I try to aggregate my gratitude for the month, but some of the things I’ve been grateful for are:

Having two new staff join the YWCA Canberra She Leads team. I like working with and managing a team and there’s no way that I would have been able to deliver on the program initiatives by myself, so I’m grateful for the extra support and excited about what we have and can continue to achieve together.
My brother Neale coming to stay for 2 weeks while Jason was overseas to help with kid-wrangling! Doorstep Dinners were also a life-saver during this time!
An April that was full of beautiful warm sunny days (although a couple of days of rain would have been nice)

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Head & Heart – January 2016

February 29, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

Figure that I better this post up given that it’s basically an entire month late! I wrote it a couple of weeks ago but it’s just been sitting in my drafts. Not sure why I’ve been putting off pressing ‘publish’ on this one….

I’m writing this from bed, home from work, sick again. I feel like we’ve been hit by minor illnesses more than usual over the last couple of months (and I suspect that’s just comes with having a 2 year old). My default reaction is to feel miserable, frustrated at my body, stressed about all the things that I’m not doing while sick, and pissed off (‘why is this happening to me again?’). However, I’ve just finished listening to Buddhism for Parents on the Go (audiobook), so this time I’m trying to be kinder to myself and more accepting and to remember that illness and injury is going happen. While my body is feeling pain and fatigue, it’s my mind that adds the suffering. I’m still feeling pretty crappy and miserable, but it’s certainly helping me to feel less burdened by the illness.

Anyway, on to my Head & Heart post for January….

What I’ve been doing

Getting back into daily journalling /keeping a log book using the DayOne app
Building and tracking daily habits to improve my wellbeing using the Way of Life app (thanks to Kevin Rose’s recommendation on a recent episode of the Tim Ferriss podcast)
Released a new Women Talk Work interview with digital entrepreneur and wonderful human Mik Jade
Chatted about Women Talk Work with Lee Constable on her 2XXFM show/Soapbox podcast
Having a new year clean out/de-clutter and finally Konmari-ing our clothes
Supporting E to adjust to a new daycare centre (we tried one, and we’ve changed to another). She seems to be doing well and I suspect that it’s more stressful for me than for her!

I’m grateful for

A few random things I’ve found myself feeling grateful for this month:

Public libraries
Home grown spinach, tomatoes and herbs
Air conditioning
Long walks in my beautiful city

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Head & Heart – December 2015

January 5, 2016 By Clare Leave a Comment

I can’t quite believe it’s time for another post. Where did December go?

What I’ve been doing

Two new Women Talk Work podcast episodes recorded. One edited and released (with digital marketer and self-described super-nerd, Sarah Moran), and another (with startup entrepreneur Mik Jade) coming soon.
Walking. With the CBR100 Challenge just over 2 months away I’ve been trying to increase the frequency and duration of my walks. I also did my first parkrun.
Ending the year with a family trip to the beach!
Developing content for and facilitating two She Leads Diploma sessions. Learning lots, but exhausting at the same time!
I’ve set up a Now page (inspired by Derek Sivers’ NowNowNow project).
Doing an annual purge of iPhone apps and email subscriptions to try to limit the distraction and information clutter.
Travelling to Adelaide for Christmas with my family.

I’m grateful for

Supportive colleagues and ‘work friends’.
Family who delight in looking after (and tiring-out) E so that I can do things like take afternoon naps!

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Head & Heart – September 2015

October 2, 2015 By Clare Leave a Comment

Only 2 days after the end of the month (a record!), here’s my sixth Head & Heart post – “a monthly capture of my feelings and doings, in the raw.”

What I’ve been doing

After my blergh August, I’ve got on back track with a few things that make me healthier and happier – meditating (on my bus commute using the Calm app), tracking my spending using YNAB, walking more regularly (and I’ve started tracking my steps using the Fitbit app). I’ve also been blending fresh juices/smoothies and feel like they’re (positively) impacting on my energy levels.
September also involved quite a bit of work preparing for the new She Leads Diploma intake. I am really committed to continuing to improve the course to make it one of the most innovative leadership development programs for women in Canberra. Like conference organising, I feel that designing training is something that aligns with my strengths, providing an opportunity for creativity within a structured program.

I’m grateful for

Sunshine. I’ve been noticing and appreciating feeling the sun on my skin as I exercise.
FaceTime. We don’t have any family in Canberra so FaceTime is such an important way for E to get to know and maintain connection with her family.
My family’s good health. We were all well this month (apart from a touch of hayfever) and what a difference it made to how productive I felt and my mental wellbeing.

I’ve been thinking about

Tooting my friends’ horns. In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg shares a story of a workplace/team where instead of asking the women to talk about themselves, she asked them to tell one another’s stories, which made the women more comfortable and also helps to avoid that perception that women who talk up their own accomplishments are less likeable. This month I was listening to an episode of Chat 10 Looks 3 where Leigh Sales mentioned that when Annabel Crabb’s book The Wife Drought came out she purchased 1000 copies and sent them (with a personalised note) to leaders all around the country. These two stories got me thinking about how valuable it is for women to call out and promote the great things that other women in our networks are doing and has motivated me to start doing this more regularly for my friends and colleagues.
How we talk about/the assumptions we make about the division of household/parenting responsibilities. An except from Anne-Marie Slaughter’s new book, Unfinished Business, was published on Time – ‘Women are Sexist Too’ – and it, along with Jess Irvine’s opinion piece on parenting and inequality, has got me thinking about the default language I use in discussions about division of household/parenting responsibilities. No longer will I talk about male partners ‘helping’ around the house or with kids, and I’ll fight any tendency I have to leave ‘instructions’ for Jason next time I’m away!

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Head & Heart – August 2015

September 12, 2015 By Clare 1 Comment

August was a bit of a blergh month. Nothing major, but I was sick and certain things just felt like they fell off the rails a bit – I stopped meditating, stopped tracking my budget/expenditure and hardly did any exercise. But I guess sometimes you need these kinds of down periods of time to really notice and appreciate what a positive impact certain activities actually have on your physical and mental well-being. But in the true spirit of Head & Heart – “a monthly capture of my feelings and doings, in the raw.” – here is August’s instalment…

What I’ve been doing

Being sick… again. Colds (and then secondary sinus infections) bought home from daycare are really not much fun.
I went to Adelaide for the YWCA Adelaide She Leads Conference – which was great! I took away some great ideas for our Canberra event.
An example of the excitement my 8.36pm photos tend to capture – this one from 24 August!

I’ve re-started taking photos at 8.36pm. This is a project I started back in September 2009 (inspired by Buster Benson). I’ve started and stopped a few times (with a long break between April 2014 and August 2015), but so far I’ve taken 797 photos (37% of days since starting). I love the unfiltered ordinariness that this project captures and it’s role as a kind of digital time-capsule of my life. The photos are generally very boring – I’m most often involved in some kind of domestic pursuit (packing lunch boxes, ironing, trying to get my kid to sleep) or working at that time. But as boring as they seem at the time, I still find it fascinating to look back at what’s changed (and what hasn’t). Buster’s project is a public one, but after doing it for a while I’ve decided that my 8.36pm photos are primarily for me (my future me), and so most photos are just posted to Flickr privately.

I’m grateful for

Mum coming to visit us in Canberra. Not only am I grateful for having an extra set of hands to help with the toddler-wrangling, but I’m super grateful for the time E gets to spend with her Grandma. I have such fond memories of spending time as a child with my own grandmother and I’m sure E is collecting some great memories too. It’s 3 years this month since my Grandma passed away, so perhaps that’s making me particularly reflective. E would have made her laugh so much!

I’ve been thinking about

Writing (and in particular, blogging) as a method to discover your own opinions and beliefs about a certain topic.
My diet – and how it is impacting on my physical and mental health, and wondering what I can do (diet-wise) to improve my immunity and potentially reduce the frequency of colds.
Turning 35. It was my birthday this month and it got me thinking about what I want the next 35 years of my life to look like.

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Head & Heart – July 2015

August 5, 2015 By Clare Leave a Comment

Head & Heart is designed to be “a monthly capture of my feelings and doings, in the raw.”

What I’ve been doing

Finally getting around to doing/finishing my Cert IV in Training & Assessment (thanks to work supporting/sponsoring my participation on a course).
Meditating. After last month’s thoughts on why I don’t meditate more, this month I’ve committed to doing it and it’s feeling great! Key things that are helping me integrate it into my day and start to develop a semi-regular practice – the Calm app (I completed the free 7 days of calm course and have now signed up for an annual subscription), and making time (it only takes 10 minutes) to meditate earlier in the evening rather than waiting until all my to-dos are done (which of course they never are)!
Exercising. Another thing that I’ve prioritised this month is getting out for some regular exercise. I’ve realised that no-one is going to magically create time for me to exercise, so I need to carve it out. I haven’t been walking far or fast, but regularly getting out a few times a week for 30 mins is better than what I was managing before. Jason and I have also started a block of personal training sessions with Simon Le. Jason and I used to do training together many years ago, and I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed that. We managed to find a little window of time on our lunch break one day a week when Ella is in daycare, so we’ve decided that doing PT will be our weekly ‘date’. We’ll invest the $$ we might otherwise occasionally spend on dinner and babysitter on getting physically (and mentally) healthier together.
Practice recording for the Women Talk Work podcast. I’m still way behind where I hoped I’d be, but this month I’ve been doing a bit of practice recording/editing, just playing around with microphone technique and the basics of recording and editing in GarageBand.

I’m grateful for

The wonderful people in our life that love and care for Ella. She turned 2 this month and her birthday (and the gifts and cards that she received) was a lovely reminder of all the great people in her/our life.

I’ve been thinking about

Being my best me. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about how I can flip my thinking to stop focusing on the ways in which Ella/being a parent prevents me from being my ‘best me’ – like finding it difficult to get time to exercise, getting enough sleep, spending quality time with friends etc – and instead focus on how I can be the ‘best me’ in the moment, whatever and whenever that moment is (including at 2am with a sleepless toddler). I’ve also being trying to think about all the benefits I do get from being a parent (rather than the things I’ve ‘lost’) – like learning patience, creativity, thinking on my feet, being less self-conscious etc.
My addiction to sugar. I’m becoming increasingly aware of the ways my body reacts to sugar – particularly in my skin, and also my sinuses (that might sound weird and maybe it’s just a coincidence, I haven’t investigated the link properly) – but yet I still consume more than I’d like to and struggle to cut back/eliminate despite knowing that it would most likely make me feel much better.

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