Webby Clare

Thoughts and other writings by Clare Conroy

Head & Heart #25

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Last week I ended up in hospital with pneumonia. After 3 days of IV antibiotics and fluids, I’m feeling like a totally different person, but it was a really tough week. Being so sick really knocked me around mentally too, but now on the other side, things feel so so so much brighter and more positive. I am grateful for the wonderful public hospital care I received and have taken on board the message the universe has been sending about being willing to ask for help and not trying to hold everything together!

Three things that engaged my head and/or heart this week…

1. Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast

Oprah has a new podcast – Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations – a personal selection of her interviews with thought-leaders, best-selling authors, spiritual luminaries, as well as health and wellness experts. I’ve listened to the episodes with Brene Brown and Sheryl Sandberg – two women I’ve heard interviewed many times before, but whose messages and insights are worth re-listening to. I’ve also been listening to this podcast as I go to sleep in an attempt to distract myself from my annoying lingering cough!

2. How to be kind when you’re upset with your partner

There is no shortage of relationship advice online, but this post had some useful reminders. Processing my thoughts and feelings through journalling is something that I’ve found enormously helpful and has probably prevented many arguments!

3. Our 6-year-old has a fun, comfortable life. Why isn’t she grateful?

This advice made me reflect on how much of our weekend/leisure time revolves around Miss E (4 years old) and what she wants to do or what we think will make her happy, and resolve to plan more family interactions and outings based on what makes Jason and/or I happy instead!

Head & Heart #24

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A semi-regular capture of 3 things that have engaged my heart and/or heart…

1. Relationship vs transaction
I was talking with a friend last week about interpersonal interactions being motivated by either a desire to build a relationship or to complete a transaction. So I was surprised to hear these words – relationship and transaction – come up in the recent episode of the Dear Sugars podcast on saying no (with Oprah Winfrey). I believe that when the universe keeps unexpectedly throwing up certain words or phrases in front of you, it’s worth paying attention.

2. Deep work with deep responsibilties
In her email newsletter this week Laura Vanderkam asked can you do ‘deep work’ if you also have deep responsibilities? It captured some of the frustrations I had with Cal Newport’s Deep Work, which I love the idea of but struggle to see how it can be implemented in reality by people with lead parenting (or other primary caregiving) responsibilities – which are most often women. However, I like Laura’s suggestion that perhaps Deep Work can be achieved in smaller blocks or through ‘retreats’.

3. Drop the Ball
I also finished Tiffany Dufu’s Drop The Ball – a book for women about letting go at home. My friend Ruth wrote an excellent review of the book, and if you’re not inclined to spend the time or money to read the book but are still interested in the idea, I recommend listening to Tiffany’s interview on Jonathan Fields’s Good Life Project podcast.

The measure of a day

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With a new baby to care for, at the end of the day I often find myself glancing around the chaos in my home, running through the never-ending mental ‘to-do’ list, and lamenting that ‘I got nothing done today’.

It’s so easy to get pulled into the trap of believing we need to do more in order to have more and to be more. My perceptions of success and self-worth are tied to my productivity. But what if I asked questions to determine the value of my day that were better than ‘what did I get done?’? Questions that were more aligned with my values and what really matters to me right now.

How deeply did I love and allow myself to be loved today?

Did I express love and appreciation for people I care about?

Who did I connect with? Did I form new connections or strengthen old ones?

What opportunities will I have to do this better tomorrow?

Whenever you think something great about someone else, always say it

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I read heaps of blog posts, management articles and listen to a lot of podcasts. And for the most part I find them very inspiring and thought-provoking…. in the moment. I might mull over them for a few minutes, tweet a link to it and bookmark it on Pinboard. But more often than not that’s where my (at least conscious) engagement ends. However, I do have a collection of probably 15 or fewer pieces/talks that I recall often and talk about with other people and that really inform or affect what I do and how I do it. This is my measure of what makes a ‘good’ article/talk/post.

Sean Johnson wrote a post about his ‘eight life hacks’ on his blog over 5 years ago. I don’t know how I found it, but according to Pinboard I bookmarked it in December 2010. And it’s one of those ones that’s stuck with me. Or more specifically, one line from the post has stuck with me….

Whenever you think something great about someone, always say it.

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