training

I’m not a super-confident person, so more nerves is something I can probably do without… but today was one of the rare moments when I actually wish I’d been more nervous.

I’m currently organising and participating in a ‘trainer skills’ development program. Basically a four-day training course on how to be a better trainer/presenter. This is something that I really value and am interested in, so am excited to have opportunity to reflect and practice my skills. I’ve done something similar last year, but this time I’m doing it in a specific work-based context. Today we had to give a mock training session to the other participants in the group. To be honest, I didn’t put quite as much effort into preparing this session as was probably required, but nevertheless I felt calm and unfazed about the whole thing (before-hand and during the session). You might think that was a good thing, that it showed I was confident and prepared, but it turned out that I sucked. Well, it wasn’t that bad… I can still happily face my colleagues without embarrassment… but it definitely should have / could have been better.

So, why do I wish I’d been more nervous? ‘Cause I’ve figured out that feeling nervous means that I actually care. When I delivered sessions as part of a previous course last year, and more recently when I gave a presentation on TED to 200+ staff, I definitely recall feeling nervous. Particularly I recall the feeling of my heart beating so strongly that I could feel it in my chest, throat, head… And the butterflies in the stomach… And the buzzing feeling afterwards… Where you feel like you’ve just overcome a hurdle and then can’t wait to rush back and do it all again. Today I had none of that. The nerves (and the post-presentation buzz) seem to occur when I care. When I care about the content. And when I want my audience to care about the content too. And caring means that I prepare more and that I bring genuine energy because I want my audience to be as excited by the topic as I am. It’s much easier to be exciting when you’re excited right?

Scott Berkun’s Confessions of a Public Speaker has a good part on managing fear and the similarities between fear and excitement…

Ian Tyson, a stand-up comedian and motivational speaker, offered this gem of advice: “The body’s reaction to fear and excitement is the same…so it becomes a mental decision: am I afraid or am I excited?” If the body can’t tell the difference, it’s up to you to use your instincts to help rather than hurt you.

I love this quote. And I’m becoming more and more conscious of the fact that when I experience nerves before presenting, they’re because I’m genuinely excited rather than scared. I’m a big believer in listening to your body and the cues it gives you to help you understand your emotional reaction to certain experiences, so today I’ve learned some valuable lessons.

So, what am I going to do with this new self-knowledge? Perhaps I should only present and train on content that I care deeply about? Certainly finding more opportunities to do this is something that I will actively seek out. But, that’s not always going to be possible. It’s likely that my job (both current and possibly my future roles) will mean that sometimes I need to deliver content on topics that you won’t find me ranting and raving to friends/colleagues over a bottle of wine about! So, I’ve decided that before I deliver any content, before I stand up in front of my audience and open my mouth, I first need to care. And that may mean putting myself in the shoes of my audience and figuring out why they care about what I’m going to deliver… how the information or skills that they are hoping/expecting to receive may make their lives/jobs better or easier or more fun. Or even if I’m not totally excited by the overall content/topic perhaps I could find a small part that interests me, makes me think or makes me smile, and then start by really caring about that.

So, despite my less than average performance today, I’ve definitely learned a valuable lesson, and that’s something to be grateful for.

My brain is buzzing. Almost to the point of being overwhelmed and noisy and anxious. I’ve been at a Train the Trainer course for the last three days and I’m feeling excited and exhausted and full! Like with most training courses or seminars I go to, I found that the most dramatic and deep and powerful learnings weren’t from any explicit piece of new information or knowledge I was given, but rather from the connections and realisations that arose from having time, space and stimulation to engage in good self-reflection.

So, I wanted to share some of the things my brain is currently buzzing about (in the hope that it might quieten the buzzing a little, and that through writing them down I might see some new connections and get some new insight and motivation about what I do about it!)….

One of the points in Ken Robinson’s ‘The Element’ that really stuck with me was about the difference between imagination and creativity.

Imagination can be entirely internal. You could be imaginative all day long without anyone noticing. But you would never say that person was creative if that person never did anything. To be creative you actually have to do something. (emphasis added)

Creativity is a step beyond imagination because it requires you to actually do something rather than lie around thinking about it. It’s a very practical process of trying to make something original.

Because it’s about making things, creative work always involves using media of some sort to develop ideas.

To develop our creative abilities, we also need to develop our practical skills in the media we want to use.

This year, I’ve been very conscious of ensuring that I move from thinking to doing. I’m excited about learning new practical skills. I need to find and develop my media.

I think I’m a visual person, but I also think I suck at drawing. So, I’m going to learn to get better at it. This week I’ve signed up for the visual vocab newsletters from Donna McGeorge and from Graphics Made Easy and have learned how to do quick sketches of a book and a sunrise. Doing this ‘Train the Trainer’ course is also part of developing my practical skills in a new medium. Previously I found myself quite turned off the idea of training and facilitation. I thought it was something I wasn’t good at, something that I wasn’t interested in. I guess I was scared. I knew what good training and facilitation looked like. But didn’t believe I could do it. I’m still not convinced that I’ll ever be a brilliant trainer or facilitator, but I’m definitely not going to get any better by thinking about it. I’m excited about the prospect of doing it. I’m excited about learning and getting better at a skill I value. And I’m excited about the possibilities and opportunities that having this skill creates.

My brain is also buzzing about David Foster Wallace’s 2005 Kenyon College commencement address which I listed to today…

I’m also thinking a lot about stories. And how stories can be used in training and facilitation and professional development. And questions too… I love questions. I’ve been thinking about the seminar by Michael Marquardt that I went to last month, and Thought Questions, and all the resources and articles about questions on Chris Corrigan’s website which I want to read…

I feel like I have all of these little snippets of thought running around in my head. I just jump from one to the other and never really explore any in much depth. I think a coach or someone to debrief with would be good for that. To ask the questions that push me further. Or maybe I should commit to doing a blog post on each topic and use that as a means for delving a bit deeper.

Okay, that’s enough for one post…. Brain chatter is temporarily relieved….